How To Get A Million Hits On Your Blog In Less Than A Year

So have we found the Bloggy Secret of Life? The Holy Grail? The Ne Plus Ultra of driving traffic to one's blog? Here's the rules according to Robert Stacey McCain (The Other McCain):

It's the Underpants Gnome Theory of Blogging:

• Phase 1: Get a Blogspot account.
• Phase 2: ?
• Phase 3: One million visitors!